Never to be read
by kiaser15
Summary: Barbara Gordon was devestated when Dick Grayson left. After he left she helped Bruce and Alfred through it.Then they adopted young Tim who became Robin and joined the Young Justice team... how can Babara deal with another betrayal? rated T, please R&R!
1. Prolog: Dear Dick

Dear Dick,

(May 1st 2002) ~You'll never read this so I might as well trash you here instead of to your face. What the hell do you think you are doing you little dumbass. Bruce is falling apart and I don't know how much longer I can hold him together. Bruce is like my father and I can't think of a reason to leave him and you did! YOU left your real father; I won't even leave my figurative father. Alfred has stopped cleaning that's how depressed he is and you have the nerve to not call! You didn't even tell me that you were leaving… I was in the hospital because I had taken another bullet for you and you don't even care enough to come say bye. No e-mailing and saying that its over doesn't count as saying bye. I am stuck here alone with Bruce and Alfred! Even Selena has left Bruce to his depression; I have to clean the manor then think of ways to make Bruce happy.

(October 1st 2002) ~Alfred and Bruce have even stopped eating. I have to force the food down their throats and I hate you for doing this. I am having backlash from the knife I took for you and there is a good chance I can't be Batgirl anymore. That can't happen because Batman isn't coming out anymore and you're gone! Alfred's came out of depression enough to start cleaning, cooking, and forcing Bruce to eat; he hasn't come out of depression enough to tell me in his sweet motherly voice to not go out; that it is too dangerous! You Alfred is recovering but he will never be the same again… It has been five months and Bruce hasn't shown any improvement. Are you happy about that you sick son of a bitch? Is this what you wanted? If I were you I would want to crawl up in a hole and DIE! But you probably feel free and don't care how you affected anyone. I hate you so much! When I see you again I am going to slap you.

(October 4th 2003) ~HAHAHA Bruce has finally started to feel better! I bet you're disappointed that you didn't permanently damage him. He has become Batman again and we are adopting another boy. This boy will be a safety blanket for Bruce. He needs to learn how to trust and love again because of your stupidness.

(October 15th 2003 ~the boy's name is Tim and he is heartbreakingly similar to you. He is an acrobat and has black hair and blue eyes. There are a few differences though: He HAS a HEART and a SOUL and you have a black STONE and a black PIT. You are way more muscularly built but he has more heart then you have had your entire life, he calls me Babs much to my dismay because you called me that and I am not that same girl. I love Tim too much though to tell him not to call me that so I guess another Robin will call me Babs. Hopefully that isn't a streak and I hope he doesn't leave cause then Bruce would shut down no questions asked. I don't know if I could handle another betrayal but I don't know if that's a Robin thing… Oh yeah you don't know but you have been disrespectfully discharged from the Bat clan, my life, and the title "Robin". Your life here is gone and I am happy about it. This way you can't hurt us anymore. Bruce is stricter though so you did change him congratulations.

(September 12th 2006) ~Hey you manage to ruin my life and haunt me huh… Tim just asked me if Bruce was always this strict and laughed. He was joking but I almost told him that he wasn't that it was your fault but there is no use crying over spilled milk and he will never know you. You're lucky I'm nice or I'd go to Jump City and kick your little team's asses! You betray us because you want to go solo then you get a team. I hate you still; if you came back I wouldn't slap you for Tim's sake. I HATE YOU SO DON'T THINK YOU'RE FORGIVEN! Oh and enjoy your girlfriend… though knowing you you'll probably ditch her and not say good bye.

(September 24th 2010) ~REALLY DICK! You waltz into Tim's life and get me kicked out of his party… that's great I mean seriously. I can pretend nothing is wrong but if you are so stupid as to think that I should be kicked out because you and your girlfriend came I would have said you are crazy. Then that happens… Robins do have relayed traits, they always leave the Bats, they have black hair, they have blue eyes, they shatter Bruce's heart, they shatter Alfred's heart and they shatter my heart though I doubt you care… I don't know I just thought Tim would.

(September 25th 2010) ~Yep I knew the second Tim ditched me that you would take him. Bruce and Alfred, as I predicted, are crushed. Bruce is worse than when you left. DO YOU HAVE ANY PRIDE? MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT TIM… it seems he doesn't have a heart… just like you. Oh and I'm having backlashes again. They're coming worse and worse; Alfred knows but Bruce can't or I'm going to be expelled from Batgirl and that can't happen… it is the only thing keeping me sane. Bruce is slowly slipping away from us and becoming Batman full time. Alfred is reeling him back but Alfred is destroyed too. I hear him crying in his room when he thinks I am asleep. It is funny though because all of the bad stuff happens because of you.

(September 27th 2010) ~ARE you TRYING to ruin our lives? What did we do to make you hate us so much? I don't care anymore… in this world I can't have emotions or you'll find a way to use them against me. I am like a lifeless actress putting on a show for the world; for Bruce and Alfred. I have to stay strong for them or they will fall apart at the seams. My dad is worried but I don't care my dad got kidnapped but I barely felt the rush of fear. I went up against Joker and I felt empty; I didn't even feel satisfaction when I pummeled them. Bruce is thinking about adopting again but I can't take another loss… I am afraid that a child might break down the wall; force me to feel. Then you would swipe them away from us and I would feel the pain all over again. Right now the only feeling I can feel is hatred… for you.


	2. The first Sign of collapse

**Authors note: **

**Ello! I forgot the authors note on the prolog sorry… There will be romance and all that stuff and arguing. Now I am going to go back to the time of each entry and tell you what happened. This whole story is from Barbara's view… I don't own Young Justice or Teen Titans and I know that the Robin in Young Justice is Dick but it is part of my story line so sorry! Here is another chapter of this story… it wouldn't stop bugging me! I know I shouldn't make another story but I can't help it… It was driving me crazy.**

April 25st 2002

I deliver a swift kick to Harley's gut and she crumples like a sack of potatoes. I turn to help my boyfriend Robin as he fights Joker but see one of the goons getting ready to fire. I launch myself in between Robin and the goon and take the shots for him, as I fall to the ground I hear Joker laugh and then a huge thump. I hear another thump and suddenly Robin is right next to me saying, "Batgirl, are you okay? Why'd you jump in front of me? You could be dying!" I smile at his behavior and say, "Let's clear out… can you carry me?" He nods and picks me up. We swing off the side of the building and midflight I feel myself lose consciousness.

I feel the pain of the needle and wake up as they inject painkillers and other medicine into my system. My vision is blurry and I can't decide whether I'm dreaming or awake. I think I see Dick Grayson's face near mine as he whispers something. I hear, "I'll never leave you, but Bruce needs me Babs! I'll come back as soon as I can okay?" I try to nod and he smiles at me then runs out. I grimace as the heavy medicine kicks in; then it sweeps me into oblivious sleep.

I feel horrible when I wake up and a nurse shows up to talk to me. She says, "Hello, todays April 27st. You are going to get out of the hospital in an hour." With that she left me with my thoughts. When the hour had crawled by Bruce came and picked me up from the hospital. He was sad and when I got home Alfred was just sitting on the couch.

I immediately knew something was wrong and yell, "What the hell is happening!" Bruce crashes down on the couch next to Alfred and slowly says, "Dick left Gotham last night." I freeze and run to the computer. Sure enough on my e-mail is a message from Dick that was titled 'urgent' I open and read out loud, "Dear Babs, It isn't working out between us and I can't stand Bruce right now… I'm really sorry and I'm sure we can still be friends but we are over. Bye. Love, Dick."

I stare at the e-mail and Bruce says, "I'll be in my room if you need me." Alfred nods and stands, "Me too Mistress Barbara…" I look at the e-mail and towards the stairs that Alfred and Bruce had just climbed and sprint down to the batcave where I, unabashed, start to sob. I gasp for breath as the sobs rip through me. I try to calm down and it takes a whole lot of heart wrenching sobbing before I can even think about going upstairs.

As I walk upstairs I notice the message still up on the screen. I grab the laptop planning to reply in my room. As I walk past Alfred's room I hear the most horrible sound ever. I hear Alfred sobbing, just like I was mere minutes ago. I sprint over to Bruce's room and hear the sounds of a man trying, and failing, to not cry. I bow my head as I delete Dick's message forever. That message is one message that is never going to get a response. **(I wanted to stop here but I couldn't. It wouldn't be complete and it would be short)**

I walk to my room and lie down to go to sleep; I can't though because images of Dick rush through my head. His last words echo like a siren through the fog that lures me to sleep, "I'll never leave you, but Bruce needs me Babs! I'll come back as soon as I can okay?" I am kept up with questions and finally fall asleep thinking about Dick. I have a nightmare that night; the first of many. I walk towards Dick when I see him getting shot at; I jump in the way then Dick grins at me and leaves me on the ground dying. When I awoke in cold sweat I sigh; it was just a dream. Then I realize that it isn't a dream that it is reality; that Dick really did leave me.

I walk downstairs expecting Alfred but instead no one is there. I walk towards Alfred's room and he is still crying. I walk to Bruce's and hear the sound of a lamp being chucked at a wall. I walk into the kitchen and make pancakes, bacon, toast, and coffee for three. Then I slowly go up the stairs balancing the three trays of food in each hand with one tray on my head. I knock on Alfred's door and get no response so I knock hard and continuously to try to get him to open up. Soon enough Alfred opens the door and I give him one of the trays of food. He takes it and before he closes the door I see that his room was messy. Five days ago we had laughed when Dick brought up the possibility that Alfred's room could be messy now it happening.

I then walk over to Bruce's room with the two other trays and bang on the door with all my power. I get a gruff go away and yell, "Bruce, You need to eat everything on this tray or I'll break down the door and force it down your throat!" He opens the door and grabs the tray before returning to his room. He doesn't go fast enough because I still see his tear streaked face. I run to my computer with my tray still on my head. I pull open a word document and start to write a poem:

_**You turned away,**_

_**On the most important day,**_

_**I needed you to stay,**_

_**But you left anyway,**_

_**My life was over,**_

I couldn't find a rhyme with over so I put my poem aside for later. Then I thought about Bruce and his social life. I decide to call Selena and when she answers I say, "Selena, this is Barbara and we have a problem." Selena responds, "What is it?" "Bruce is depressed because of a fight he got into with his cousin and now they aren't on speaking terms, will you come over to help?" Selena sighs and I look at the phone hopefully. Any hope disappears from my face as she says, "No." My face turns red as I hear the click of the call being ended. I practically growl at her and my face turns bright red. All of the emotions that I have been having and they are threatening to spill over and gush out turning me into a sobbing angry mess which can't do in front of Alfred or Bruce lest they become worse. I run to my computer and start a document:

_**Dear Dick,**_

_**(May 1st 2002) ~You'll never read this so I might as well trash you here instead of to your face. What the hell do you think you are doing you little dumbass. Bruce is falling apart and I don't know how much longer I can hold him together. Bruce is like my father and I can't think of a reason to leave him and you did! YOU left your real father; I won't even leave my figurative father. Alfred has stopped cleaning that's how depressed he is and you have the nerve to not call! You didn't even tell me that you were leaving… I was in the hospital because I had taken another bullet for you and you don't even care enough to come say bye. No e-mailing and saying that its over doesn't count as saying bye. I am stuck here alone with Bruce and Alfred! Even Selena has left Bruce to his depression; I have to clean the manor then think of ways to make Bruce happy.**_

I nod at the results and close the computer, saving the document so that if I need to vent I could open it and add another entry. For the first time since Dick left I smile and then I go to make lunch; then clean the manor.

**Authors note:**

**yep… I'm going to get through the entries to the letter then get to the more interesting stuff… everything will be explained! I love Barbara but I just thought someone should show the effect of Dick leaving on her! Oh and by the way- please review! I love reading reviews! **


	3. Picking up the pieces

**Author's note:**

**Hello… I am really bad at updating so you can kill me if you don't want any more of my stories… but I'm hoping that you want to read my stories. I don't own any thing! I don't know how to spell the work guy who knows Batman's secret identity's name… it starts with an L.**

**October 1st 2002**

I am scared. Bruce and Alfred aren't eating and I am not a doctor but I know that is not good and every morning I walk into their rooms and force food down into them. I walk downstairs after feeding them and push myself into the soft couch. I let out a small sigh and look around at the mansion. It has slowly gotten dirtier and dirtier because I have to clean it, run Wayne Industries with the help of Bruce's partner, and play Batgirl alone for twice as long as normal. Then when I have that all done I have to do my school work, give both Bruce and Alfred bathes which was weird the first few times, and feed them. I don't really have much time to sleep and I haven't seen my real father in a few weeks.

I hear a rustling noise and I hurry towards the noise. It is coming from the kitchen so I walk in to see Alfred making lunch. I yell is delight, "Alfie!" and he turns towards me. I hug him and he hugs me back, "I'll clean and take care of Master Bruce… thanks for taking care of me." I nod, "I would have done for as long as necessary. I have to go to work." Alfred turns towards me in horror, "Your working? You don't have time!" I grin, "I am keeping Wayne Industries alive and well with help of course." Alfie nods, "Okay do you have school work? What are your grades?" I frown, "I have a few B's but I can get them up." He nods again and I run out to the car.

I am so glad Alfred is better because that frees me up. I get to Wayne Industries and Lucius **(?)** is waiting for me. I look at all the workers and at the plan to make one thousand models of the new technology. I look at the tech from Bruce's perspective and see that he would think it was a breakthrough and order five thousand. That is what I tell Lucius **(?) **to do and he nods happily. I walk out of Wayne Industries exhausted end ready to hit some homework before patrol.

I am driving home and I start to worry about Bruce. Why won't he eat; why can't he seem to function without Dick? I am and I can't stop functioning or the Wayne household will fall apart. My body spasms and I almost drive into a ditch. I gasp as I steer back on the street and keep driving. The spasms return as I get out of my car and I fall to ground. I scream for Alfred and he comes running. As he helps me to the Batcave I see a flicker of worry in his eyes and realize that he is okay. He is finally okay with Dick's death. As he looks at his vitals he frowns at me in horror. I gasp, "Alfie, What is wrong?" He answers softly, "You're having backlashes from a knife you took to the back… You are going to spasm at unpredictable times." I sigh, "Well that sucks! I'm going to patrol." He nods tiredly and I slowly get ready. I sigh, "Fuck you Dick…"

As I get out on the street I start to hum a song, "

Risin' up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance

Now I'm back on my feet

Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast

You trade your passion for glory

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past

You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge

Of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the

Eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat

Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry

They stack the odds

Still we take to the street

For the kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge

Of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the

Eye of the tiger

Risin' up straight to the top

Had the guts, got the glory

Went the distance

Now I'm not gonna stop

Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger

It's the thrill of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge

Of our rival

And the last known survivor

Stalks his prey in the night

And he's watching us all with the

Eye of The eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger the tiger"

Then I realize that a young boy has been watching me sing and… umm, dance a few dance moves maybe. He has black hair and blue eyes and at first I think it is Dick. I don't think and swing down in front of the kid. I try not to look heart-broken as I realize that the boy isn't Dick. He grins at me widely, "Those pelvic thrusts were great…" Barbara Gordon would have blushed but I'm Batgirl so I put a serious face on, "Why are you here?" The boy continues as if I had never spoken, "And you can really sing!" I put a hand on his shoulder, "Why. Are. You. Here?" He looks at me, "To talk to you why else… You always come by here and I want to know if my guesses as to who Robin is and where he is are correct."

I feel my hands clench into fists at the sound of that self-worshiping backstabbing runaway. I let go of his collar, "You got a name kid?" He frowns, "Tim so doesn't call me kid!" I lean up against the wall, "Got a last name or is it a secret?" He hesitates and I raise an eyebrow. He quickly says, "Drake… my last name is Drake." I blink; I know that name. Drake is the last name of two of Bruce's friend who died right before Dick left. I bluntly state, "You're an orphan?" He nods. I continue the interrogation, "Why are you not at the orphanage Timothy?" He pumps a fist, "Yes you knew my full name! I must be right about who you guys are!" I mentally curse myself for the mess up and put a playful smirk on my face, "You sure?" He nods, "I ran away from the orphanage to find you and make sure I was right…" My face turned sour and I walk over to my bike with Tim following me, "Get on… I'm curious to hear your theory."

We get on the bike and I speed towards my and Dick's favorite spot, "Okay, you're going to tell me your ideas then I'm going to drive you back to the orphanage. Tomorrow a friend of mine is going to help you find the perfect family!" He gives me a knowing grin and sarcastically says, "Barbara Gordon A.K.A you." I think 'shit he knows' and then laugh, "Yeah it is Miss Gordon but I am not her." He nods agreeably, "And Bruce Wayne isn't Batman, and Robin isn't Dick Grayson." I smirk, "Correct. Now why do you think that?" He smirks, "I saw the Grayson's die and saw Robin do a move that the Grayson's did. I put two and two together and figured out who you are. The cousin that left is really Dick and Batman is super sad and that is why he isn't out here." I nod, "You're going back to the orphanage where I am going to keep a very close eye on you. No one will know what you know understand?" I growl the last part and Tim nods, "Why would I do that? I want to become the next Robin not ruin Batman!" I mentally groan at this. We have another person who wants to be Robin.

I drop Tim off at the orphanage and go home to the quiet and quite a bit cleaner mansion. I open the document and start to write:

**(October 1st 2002) ~Alfred and Bruce have even stopped eating. I have to force the food down their throats and I hate you for doing this. I am having backlash from the knife I took for you and there is a good chance I can't be Batgirl anymore. That can't happen because Batman isn't coming out anymore and you're gone! Alfred's came out of depression enough to start cleaning, cooking, and forcing Bruce to eat; he hasn't come out of depression enough to tell me in his sweet motherly voice to not go out; that it is too dangerous! You Alfred is recovering but he will never be the same again… It has been five months and Bruce hasn't shown any improvement. Are you happy about that you sick son of a bitch? Is this what you wanted? If I were you I would want to crawl up in a hole and DIE! But you probably feel free and don't care how you affected anyone. I hate you so much! When I see you again I am going to slap you.**

Then I found Alfred and told him about Tim he nods and says that I did the right thing… I hope I did.

**Authors Note:**

**Thanks for reading… please review. P.S. I changed the real plot around… soooo!**


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